Brown Cotton Blanket

July 13, 2018

When I went off to college I brought a brown cotton blanket, a pillow, my sleeping bag, my clothes in a yellow leather samsonite luggage my mom gave me–it was all she had–and my portable electric brother typewriter that weighed 20 pounds.

The night before, my mom’s car had broken down. So my boyfriend drove me the 2 hours up to college in one of those hybrid car trucks from the 80’s. He dropped me off and we kissed awkwardly. We swore to stay in touch. But we both knew it was goodbye, that I was moving on to a life he was not going to be a part of.

I had $20 in my pocket. My mom gave it to me before I left. It was all she had.

Arrival was a whirlwind. All around me were parents escorting their kids into the dorms. Helping them unpack. Hanging curtains and frilly bedspreads. Then taking them out to dinner.

I sat alone in my room. No family. Hungry, because the dining halls didn’t open until the next day and I didn’t have a car.

The first one in my family to go to college. Nobody had prepared me for any of this. I thought college was about being smart. I didn’t know how much it was about learning to act like a different class of people.